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Accepting Your Limits

Katja Kokko | 18.8.2014

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When I woke up this morning, I had a long list of things I wanted to get done today. First of all, I had planned to go to and seek inspiration at the long-anticipated Hilma af Klint exhibition at Taidehalli (until I remembered that it was Monday, and all the galleries are closed), which was to be followed by an artist’s lunch with myself. I then planned to spend the rest of the day letting my own inner artist out to play, doing watercolor painting for a project I’m working on. Sounds lovely, right?

While sipping my morning coffee I answered some emails, and wrote up a list of future blog posts (it was a long list).

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I realized suddenly that my arms were going numb, my neck was stiff, and both my vision and my head were beginning to cloud over with a thick haze. This is the same feeling that I’ve had since last fall, and the complete lack of these symptoms in the past few weeks had me reacting very quickly as they manifested.

Once more an inner voice told me to stay still, reminding me of my current limits, but also of what is important right now – cherishing my connection to my inner self. Listening to one’s body and acknowledging one’s limits is part and parcel of that. The moment I push too far, the connection is lost.

It’s strange how writing this blog and following the plans I’ve got for it suddenly feel like obligations, though no one is demanding me to do it, let alone paying me for it.

I’ve learned the hard way what it means to be a high-energy person, with more ideas and inspiration than can ever be realized or implemented in a single lifetime. The addition of my sensitivity to different kinds of energies, and the fact that my resources are more limited than I’d thought makes for a very complex equation, the assimilation of which requires constant awareness and alertness.

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Moments like these make me long for Asia. To be sat under the palm trees in perfect peace and quiet, surrounded by nature, close to the sea. We’ve got that here in Finland as well, of course – I had a perfect day out in the archipelago just yesterday – but I miss the beauty and energy of Asia that I’ve discovered time after time. Nowhere else have I felt such a connection with myself and with nature. Nowhere else have I seen things through my heart. The hectic energy of the Western world will always present a challenge for me. My single dream (besides having a partner) for as long as I can remember, has been to live and write in the quiet shade of palm trees.

I am seriously considering shoving all of my creams and potions, my watercolors, and my MacBook into a backpack and catching the next plane to somewhere where the sea is turquoise and the palm trees are heavy with coconuts. I’d also bring along a snoring cat, and a certain bearded, blue-eyed person.

I hope you all have a happy Monday – I’m off to take a nap and visualize life in beach-paradise.

mantra

Yoga tops by Wellicious

Photos Dorit Salutskij

Translation Katja Nikula

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