Close your eyes. Imagine being able to do whatever you want with your life, regardless of your circumstances. Let that feeling fill you to the brim, immerse yourself in it. Breathe.
That is how I feel right now.
In front of me is an empty white page. I can see with my eyes and feel with my body visions of the new things I am about to create. Some of them are still vague; I can’t see them but I can feel them, or at least traces of them. I smile gratefully at them, knowing their time will come; for now they are allowed to germinate, to simmer. Some of my visions are very clear. Almost so clear that, with my fingers itching to realize those visions, I can just barely convince myself to stay still and breathe.
Thankfully I remember to breathe, and give my awareness to what I am doing right now. I am writing this first post on an empty page and focusing completely on every word that I write. For me the process of writing tends to be a bit difficult, this has been the case for some time now, but I have decided to seek out a way of expressing myself in writing that works for me.
I have all the time in the world to create and realize every single one of my visions, there is no rush now. No pressure, no stress, and no worry. Only freedom, lightness and peace, and they feel so beautiful, so good, that I sometimes find myself sitting on my bed with tears in my eyes.
I see that this who I really am. I am not the apartment I own, or the business I have created. Not the clothes I put on in the morning, or the blush I wear on my cheeks; not the asana pose that I assume on my yoga mat.
I am moving forward one day at a time, as I am, listening to my heart and respecting my body. Feeling within, I inquire whether I am taking these steps from a genuine desire that springs from within, or if they are dictated by the circumstances I have created for myself.
I know that despite all the freedom, lightness, and peace that I now feel, there will be days when I will worry, when I will attempt to rationalize things; I will wonder what others may think, what the smartest action would be, and writing will feel like a struggle. I promise myself that in those moments I will remember to stop, breathe, and trust. I will remind myself that the moment I stopped resisting what I felt was the worst thing that had happened to me, I found the greatest wealth that I could ever experience: love and peace.
Love and peace contain the answers to everything. Everything real and true springs out of love. There are no obligations in love, no musts or have-tos. You will have read these words in every self-help book, and doubtless every religious text in the world will tell you the same. But the day that knowing is transformed into feeling, life will become breathtakingly rich and beautiful, and seemingly insurmountable trials will provide an opportunity to get back on the right track. In a way, these trials serve to remind us of the chances life provides, to realign ourselves with ourselves. The magnitude of those trials, and how hard they feel, depends on how long, and in which ways, we have worked against ourselves, steered by external matters, possibly afraid and angry. This is called karma.
Welcome to my new website and blog. These opening words are usually moving to me because…well, I am moved. Some of you have been following me for over four years. A lot has happened in those four years. Some of you are totally new, which is very exciting. This blog’s themes are comprised of things in my life that I find important. I hope you will enjoy yourself, and that you will be inspired.
A special thanks to the person who helped with the technological realization of the site.
Yoga photos Dorit Salutski
Yoga tops were gifted by Wellicious
Translation Katja Nikula