{"id":30250,"date":"2019-02-12T17:16:53","date_gmt":"2019-02-12T15:16:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/katjakokko.com\/?p=30250"},"modified":"2019-02-13T17:51:06","modified_gmt":"2019-02-13T15:51:06","slug":"story-about-how-i-met-my-life-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/katjakokko.com\/en\/story-about-how-i-met-my-life-partner\/","title":{"rendered":"Story about how I met my life partner"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

This story is dedicated to all the single people out there fed up with messy relationships.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve had my doubts about whether it\u2019s too early to write this post, as we\u2019ve officially been together for less than six months and who knows if there\u2019s something lurking around the corner that will make me pack my bits and bobs in our London home and quietly head back to Helsinki already next week. But when every cell in my being knows that nothing has ever felt as right, do \u201ccritical\u201d milestones of six months, a year, two years, ten years even matter? They really don\u2019t! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve received loads of messages after telling people about meeting my partner and relationship. It\u2019s so lovely to see how happy people are for another person\u2019s happiness. At the same time, many who are still waiting to find their partner in life have felt reassured that it will happen one day. That\u2019s really what spurred this post, too \u2013 I know how many fabulous single women and men are reading this on the other side of the screen, who just don\u2019t seem to come across the one. I\u2019ve lived most of my life alone, so feel I have quite a bit<\/em> to say on the subject. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

All of my relationships so far have been short, lasting for a few months or half a year \u2013 or complicated ones without a clear start or end. Ones that can\u2019t really even be called a relationship, as they\u2019ve been marked with uncertainty from the start that has led to the only thing that\u2019s been clear all along: an end. The relationships have followed a certain pattern no matter how much I felt I\u2019d grown spiritually, become aware of my previous behaviour patterns or taken a fresh view on things. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of my behaviour patterns has been extreme patience. The longer I\u2019ve lived by myself, the happier I\u2019ve also been, as I\u2019ve built the life of my dreams in every possible way. At the same time, I\u2019ve gone through huge life changes that have made me stronger and increased my self-confidence and especially my patience. In my case, that patience has gone to the extreme, though, being more of a case of convincing myself rather than being patient. It\u2019s a case of denying the truth and wanting to believe in something you know<\/em> and feel<\/em> is impossible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In nearly every relationship, I\u2019ve been so good at convincing myself that my intuition is wrong and my desire to believe in the impossible is right that I\u2019ve adapted to the relationship without boundaries or a will of my own. It\u2019s an amusing pattern, as I\u2019ve been extremely happy and fortunate in every other area of my life, where I\u2019ve had my own boundaries and will in place. In areas where they haven\u2019t been in place, I\u2019ve ended up disappointed and rejected time and again. In a way, I\u2019ve decided to be dumped because of my extreme patience. Blah, that patience has actually been nothing but fear. I haven\u2019t had the courage to be honest and open because I\u2019ve avoided the truth I\u2019ve known is right in my heart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

I clearly remember a grey day in the autumn of 2016 when I felt a strong sense of happiness and gratefulness. I\u2019d felt the same way many times before but that day it clearly related to relationships. It\u2019s hard to put the feeling into words, but it could be described as a decision to stop searching for a partner. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After that moment, I met two people who steered me towards an ultimate change \u2013 empowerment that meant I set boundaries for myself and acted accordingly. Words aren\u2019t enough to describe the feeling in summer 2017 when I finally opened my eyes, took a grip on myself and walked out of a tangled relationship where once again I found myself repeating the same old pattern in a state of total unhappiness. To be honest, this required some nudging from a friend, a good shake up actually. I will never forget the phone call with my friend Kirsikka that became a turning point \u2013 I will be thankful forever!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Analysing, procrastinating and dissatisfaction ended there and then. Although I was by myself again, I\u2019d never felt as whole. It was as if I\u2019d taken a quantum leap through the universe and reached an aha moment that was larger than life \u2013 and this was simply due to taking a grip on the situation and my own life by being totally honest to myself and saying no to things I didn\u2019t want to repeat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If anything I have said resonates in some way with your own relationship patterns, here\u2019s a golden nugget: the moment you find yourself analysing situations, messages or the most incredible explanations to being stood up or not getting a message back, stop immediately<\/em>! Confront the situation \u2013 or even better: walk out! <\/em>If the person is the right one for you and you are ready to be in the relationship (both are), there\u2019s no need to analyse. You don\u2019t need to call anyone for their advice or views, because it\u2019s all clear. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

After summer 2017, I didn\u2019t go one a single date, I wasn\u2019t asked to, and I stopped wanting to go. I didn\u2019t want to spare a thought for men or the search for a partner. I was so thankful to myself for breaking my own behaviour patterns that I became 100% inspired by everything else in my life. I truly was happy by myself with every fibre in my being, and I made myself a promise to rather live alone than in an unhappy or messy relationship that required constant analysing.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And now a word or two about living alone and whether it\u2019s possible to be happy alone. It really is! <\/em>Wanting and hoping to meet a partner one day doesn\u2019t rule out the possibility of being happy alone. Saying you are happy by yourself doesn\u2019t mean you are declaring your happiness but actually bitter inside for not having met the one, or that you\u2019re convincing yourself to be happy but actually feel extremely lonely. Everyone has the right to choose the situation they live in. Some make a conscious <\/em>decision to be in a relationship that doesn\u2019t make them happy, yet choose<\/em>it above living by themselves. It\u2019s different from someone being in an unhappy relationship but not daring to leave because of fear of living alone. That\u2019s completely human and okay, too, especially if you haven\u2019t experienced what it\u2019s like to be alone. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve dreamt of a life partner for as long as I remember. Some dream of children, I\u2019ve always dreamt of meeting a person I can share my life with and perhaps have kids with one day if it\u2019s meant to be. I\u2019m thankful for living alone for so long, because it\u2019s been necessary for my spiritual growth and personal path in life. I wouldn\u2019t have been ready for a relationship before without these experiences \u2013 and probably would have drifted into a relationship for the wrong reasons or with the wrong person (although I have to say I don\u2019t feel my past entanglements have been wrong because each has led me to areas I\u2019ve needed to confront and understand). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

After that summer of 2017, I began to heed to a piece of advice I\u2019d been given: simply trust<\/em>. Those words rang in my ears and resonated in my stomach. I began to trust. I was so fed up with adjusting, analysing and vague relationships that I decided simply to trust the right person was already on his way into my life. I began to concentrate on other things instead, such as my work, hobbies, learning new skills, and so on. I do still remember Kirsi\u2019s <\/a>words from our annual astrology session from last January after I\u2019d ranted on about not being the least bit interested in a relationship right now, and she said one was clearly on its way. And then there was the time later in the winter when I went to talk about my work projects at Susan Hedman\u2019s<\/a> channelling. My semi-irritated answer to her question about my love life was that I couldn\u2019t be the least bit interested when she mentioned a relationship was already visible in my energy field. I knew full well how the law of attraction and manifestation work. It\u2019s about setting a clear, pure intention and then trusting. It\u2019s of course also about action, but according to my personal experience, intention and trust are the core of the manual (I should dedicate a separate blogpost to the topic).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Last June I took part in a two-week yoga retreat in Italy. The first person I met there was Richard<\/em>. We got to know each other quickly and instantly became good friends, as we both loved laying around the pool. Two weeks was enough time to get to know each other quite well. At the time, I couldn\u2019t imagine the guy snoring and sweating by the pool would be my life partner. We became friends, and my main feeling about Richard was that he was a really good person; good-hearted, kind, funny, polite and thought about others. He was a friend. The kind who doesn\u2019t make you feel the least bit self-conscious, as you can be totally yourself and relaxed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We stayed in touch after the retreat, and pretty soon I had a work trip to London, so we decided to meet up. After our lunch and dinner together, it was like something had hit me on the head. Already after lunch, I had a weird feeling in my tummy that only got stronger at dinner. I was confused because I wasn\u2019t sure if I was imagining things (was I once again slipping towards my former behaviour patterns and trying to convince myself?). After dinner, Richard mentioned he had a spare room I\u2019d be welcome to use if I ever came back to London. A few weeks after the trip, I realized I\u2019d be over for training for two weeks in November. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

We wrote to each other for the rest of the summer and autumn. I was increasingly sure something was going on, but couldn\u2019t draw any direct conclusions (especially with my background as an analysing expert), so decided not to even try. But my hopes were up. I promised myself to find out what was going on as soon as I got to London, trusting that whatever was for the higher good would happen. If it turned out a disappointment, I\u2019d be grateful for a good friend and another step towards something I can\u2019t even imagine yet. There was also a possibility that the feeling and wishes were mutual. Instead of spending two weeks analysing and trying to sense things, I vowed to give it about two days unless the situation would resolve by itself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The story ends with juicy ingredients straight out of a romantic comedy, which I\u2019ll leave my close friends to munch on; as it turned out, the feeling was very much mutual. It also turned out that he had already begun to have those feelings in Italy but didn\u2019t want to be the guy who hits on women at a yoga retreat. As you can imagine, neither did he want to make a move towards a female guest who was staying at his place for a work trip. I had to be the one to take the ultimate step outside my comfort zone and face her fear of rejection \u2013 which all those past relationships basically boiled down to.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Photos taken by\u00a0<\/em>Richard<\/em><\/a>on our Sunday walk to Richmond Park.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Translated by Rebecca Watson<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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